It was our first MASH assignment. "Out of Sight/Out of Mind," season 5. A gas heater blows up in Hawkeye's face and he is temporarily blind. We worked out the story with show runner Gene Reynolds and went off to write it. There were a number of funny scenes built in -- Hawkeye in the OR room, Hawkeye in a fist fight with Frank, etc.
But as we were writing it we realized there was no moment where Hawkeye drops the bravado and really tells us what he's going through and he feels about it. So we decided to write a speech. We figured if Gene didn't like it he could just cut it. We weren't deviating from the outline, just adding to it.
Well, it must've taken us three days and fifty drafts. We kept changing it, writing thoughts on napkins and scraps of paper, moving things around, adding and subtracting until we finally wrestled it to the ground.
Gene loved it. Kept giving us script assignments and the next year we were invited to join the staff.
The point is, always be looking to do something more, something better. I think Gene was as impressed with our initiative as he was the speech itself. We were starting out. We wanted to really distinguish ourselves from every other writer or team starting out. So we took a chance. Those don't always work out, but more often than not they do.
The speech that Alan Alda delivers on the episode is word for word our first draft. That's what I'm most proud of. People have said it's very memorable; a few have even quoted lines of it back to me. It's flattering but I think the real reason is that Alan delivered it so brilliantly.
Anyway, here it is.
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B.J.
Listen, Hawk, why don’t you just settle down for five minutes? I know what you’re trying to do, and I know how you really feel.
HAWKEYE
No you don’t.
B.J.
You don’t want to have time to think about what might happen to you.
HAWKEYE
That’s not it. Sure, when Overman walks in tomorrow and unwraps my package, I hope to God I’ll have my sight back. But in the meantime, this crazy accident has taken on another meaning.
B.J.
How?
HAWKEYE
One part of the world closed down for me, but another part opened up. Sure, I’ve been seeing myself sitting on a corner with a tin cup selling thermometers. But things are happening that take me away from that. This morning I spent two incredible hours listening to a rainstorm. I didn’t just hear it, I was part of it. I’ll bet you never realized that the sound of rain hitting the ground makes the same noise as steaks when they barbeque, or that thunder seems to echo forever. And you can’t believe how funny it is to hear someone slip and fall in the mud. Had to be Burns. Beej, it’s full of trapdoors, but I think I’m using this thing to my advantage. I’ve never spent a more conscious day in my life.
from By Ken Levine
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