If the goal is create a specific image in the mind of an audience member it sometimes helps to add a couple of straight lines. And that's not something you normally think of.
I think one of the problems with today’s multi-camera sitcoms is that every single line is a joke or quip and it (a) gets exhausting, (b) is not the way people really talk, and (c) prevents setting up any big laughs.
Take a couple extra seconds to sharpen a joke if need be. Here’s an example:
This is from a play I wrote. Brad & Chanel are a young couple enjoying their first romantic slow dance.
BRAD
The happiest moment of my life was when I was in the 7th Grade. We had coed dancing in gym, and I got to hold this angelic girl who was way out of my league in my arms, and for just those precious few moments she was mine.
CHANEL
That’s so sweet.
BRAD
Thank you.
CHANEL
Whatever happened to her?
BRAD
She’s now a bounty hunter.
The bounty hunter line gets a big laugh. My guess is it would get an okay laugh if I left out this couplet:
CHANEL
That’s so sweet.
BRAD
Thank you.
It’s five extra words. But they tell you his story affected her. The construction of this joke is to set up a very sweet innocent image of this girl and then pull the rug out with who she is now. Really create a tender moment and then burst its bubble.
Descriptive words help too. I describe her as “angelic.”
So going back to yesterday and trying to “beat” jokes (i.e. improve them), if I had constructed the joke this way:
BRAD
The happiest moment of my life was when I was in the 7th Grade. We had coed dancing in gym, and I got to hold this angelic girl who was way out of my league in my arms, and for just those precious few moments she was mine.
CHANEL
Whatever happened to her?
BRAD
She’s now a bounty hunter.
… my first thought might be, is there something funnier than bounty hunter? And of course there may be (knowing my readers you’ll have seventeen suggestions, which is great). But there’s also the possibility that bounty hunter is perfect but the set-up can be improved. You have to train yourself to not just replace punchlines.
Yes, it makes the job a little more complicated, but the really good comedy writers are craftsmen. “Why” something is funny is important.
Mixing up the rhythm so every joke isn’t the same pattern is also important.
Example: the rule of 3’s. This is a standard trope and it has worked since the beginning of time. The first two items establish a pattern and then you break it with the third. Soft music, fine wine, and handcuffs.
The trouble is if every line is a “rule of 3” then it makes no difference how funny each one individually is, the sameness of the cadence gets annoying real fast. So in writing a script you also have to consider the variety of joke constructions.
So much to think about! Yikes!
But here’s the good news: most wannabe comedy writers don’t think in these terms. Jokes don’t land and they don’t know why. If you’re a real student of comedy you will have a leg up. You and another writer might independently come up with the same basic joke, but yours works and his doesn’t.
Knowledge can be a good thing… even in comedy.
from By Ken Levine
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