Floor is Lava

On Netflix last night I came across FLOOR IS LAVA. In as much as I’m always on the lookout for stupid reality and game shows, this one fits the bill. Teams have to go through a series of rooms and hop from object to object without falling into the “lava.” If they fall into the “lava” they’re eliminated.

So you have to scale walls with bugs on them, leap from tables to couches, jump onto giant tiki heads, etc. I don’t think Simon Cowell will be playing this game anytime soon.

I think the grand prize is $10,000 and lava lamp. Not worth a permanent groin injury in my estimation.

My thought while watching this was: Okay, so these are the people too stupid to wear masks.

I suppose the attraction is the physical comedy of watching people fall into what looks like orange Gatorade or landing wrong on a crate and crushing their nuts, but to me it’s the idiocy of these people attempting these feats.

I also wonder this: I know on FEAR FACTOR (another show for the Mensa crowd), people were hired to test the stunts. If the test subject could eat 20 dung beetles, the TV contestant would only have to eat 15. (So you want a job in show business?) I’m sure there were testers employed for FLOOR IS LAVA. Just how far should the objects be from one another? Is it reasonable to assume someone can jump 6 feet, or 7 feet? How many test subjects knocked their teeth out landing wrong on a rock? They probably make minimum wage and no lava lamp.

Sidebar trivia nugget: In the 1950’s there was a game show called BEAT THE CLOCK where contestants had to complete wacky stunts within a certain period of time. They too had test subjects. One of them was the actor James Dean.

FLOOR IS LAVA is on Netflix. It must be porn to stunt people. Here’s a few examples. You won’t be seeing me appearing on this show.


from By Ken Levine

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