Stray thoughts from captivity

I guess it’s because I’ve watched too many Westerns, but it weird seeing people with masks wandering through Vegas casinos and no one putting their hands up.

Think of how few plastic straws have been used during this pandemic. COVID-19 has really benefitted turtles.

Lots of Ruthian-like home runs this year in the bogus MLB season. That’s because pitchers haven’t gotten enough spring training and aren’t ready. So you’re going to see lots of home runs and arm injuries.

Don’t watch the news. If you’re an intelligent person it will only make you more furious than you already are.

Not a great time for home burglars with everyone staying home.

The Coronavirus doesn’t ease up because you’re bored. Wear the damn mask and don’t do anything stupid.

And Global Warming hasn’t seemed to let up either.

My play was supposed to open tonight in Cape May, New Jersey.

How interested are you in the upcoming Emmys? Yeah, me too.

My hair hasn’t been this long since the ‘60s. Now’s my chance to finally join the Byrds!

When people on Zoom have a bookshelf behind them, don’t you try to see what’s on it? To the point of not paying attention to them?

My new podcast drops late tonight. It’s a pretty wacky episode. Please check it out.

How come you can’t get Hebrew National salamis anywhere?

I’d go to one of those Drive-In movies but what happens if I have to use the bathroom? How safe can those be? And what are the chances you’ll find your car again?

Where was fake crowd noise when I was announcing Mariners road games in the ‘90s?

I bet you’re ordering more take-out now than you did two months ago.

When this decade is over and people are asked which was their favorite year, I can’t imagine anyone saying 2020.

from By Ken Levine