Hi there. I want to speak to all my good friends in the Red States. I have solved your pandemic problems!
Instead of getting free vaccination shots that protect you against all current COVID variants and allow you to rejoin the world and reclaim all the freedom you've lost over the last year-and-a-half, you could always wear this. The good news is it's not one of those flimsy masks. Those are so annoying. And look how great it goes with a suit and tie! You'd be rocking the next QAnon meeting with one of these beauties on your skull.
The truth is you still get more protection from the vaccines but hey, these are soooo attractive. They might be a tad warm if you're in the deep south, but I expect most customers for these handsome helmets will come from the south. Eating might be a problem, you can't apparently hear anything, glasses might be unwieldy, and you might be a tad easier to identify in a police lineup, but you won't have that annoying 24 hours of discomfort that you might (no guarantees) get with one of those vaccines. Aren't you the smart one?
Oh, I wouldn't go swimming with one of these on either.
The choice is yours.
from By Ken Levine
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